Rock
Scissors
Fuck
she was on her period so I asked if she wanted to make ass babies
I wish scraping a resin bowl could be considered cleaning.
She tried to wake me up by touching my dick. I kept pretending to be asleep.
Iranian Rapper, camaroonian basketball player, mexican i forget and indian doctor....this one looks the best on paper.
It's a special occasion. Hence the 151.
i think i figured out where our problem might have started...when we poured more tequila on top of out margaritas to melt the ice bc they were too cold
hahaha or putting rum in the bbq sauce?
Don't ask me how or why, but I'm drunk with German diplomats. Come over. Now
TIL a potato cannon can be loaded with dildos as ammunition. Boy, do our neighbours love us!
I know of an excellent nanny. A lot like Mary Poppins but way cooler. And likes pot.
Gays age differently than straights. 29 is like 45 in gay years. Next year I'll be in adult diapers and applying for medicaid.
I want falafel more than sex right now. That's really saying something for me...
I'm all about clean living these days
You started your day with fried chicken and a bloody
... after you woke up in your own urine
Ya know. I was thinking of my slutty moments the other day and finally know which one makes the number 1 spot.
Cover for me. Stopped at Chris’ for a quickie. Broke a high heel and there’s jizz all over my black dress. Fuck pornstars for making workday sex look easy
Randomize
