All I know is it had something to do with a plunger and tuna salad. I'm done. I'm quitting my job.
Squirrels and blue jays and dove-like things. They're just frolicking around in my backyard. I wanna be like them.
it's like her boobs came off with her bra
Can we please stop calling your vagina the cave of wonders?
the fire alarm went off. we werent sure whether to leave or turn the music up louder
Her pussy was so beautiful. That's what I'LL miss the most. Not the omelets. You're the roommate, obviously our priorities on this situation are vastly different.
We woke up at 7:30am. We got a 30 rack, yelled at all the freshman shackers walkin back to their dorms, played a game of beer die, and boned all before 11:00am. I found my soulmate
NoShamevember. You game?
i meant to type that i went to that party for shits and giggles, but my phone corrected me and said for shots and goggles...either one works
So note to self oboe reeds soaked in Apple Rubinoff sound GREAT.
BRING KITTENS I AM A GENIUS
I want a dick in my left hand and a Crunch Wrap Supreme in my right hand.
You ask to touch his thighs ten times and called them magnificent.....need I say more
90% sure I just opened a snapchat of you in a fuzzy bathrobe next to your ceiling collapsing
Just got an exam care package consisting of only adderall wrapped in money. Score one for mom.
Randomize
