It was still light ouot when we were walking up Pier Ave and she kept asking if she could suck my nipples.
It's an Italian thing I guess, grew up on that shit.
I'm Irish, we don't eat cow guts unless they're blended into a fine whiskey
Dude just fell down the stars trying to leave class early, the prof just looks down at him and says"thats what you get"
He yelled "HERE COMES THE WARMTH" before he pissed his pants. In front of the whole party.
woke up laying on an empty pizza box and some guy was doing blow off my butt...i guess i should thank you.
I just shotgunned a beer alone in the bathroom...what do you expect from me
Im sorry for drunkenly throwing your phone into the ocean. At the time it seemed like a good way for you not to text him
mate, my mother watched me threw up out of my nose wearing only a g-string.
Seeing the pictures of him and i, I'm giving whiskey the win on this one. Definitely had beer goggles.
Fulfilled a bucket list goal last night. Borrowed a dollar from a stripper to buy smokes
God bless Atlanta.
This guy on Hoarders just said "we're all about 4 or 5 decisions away from shitting in a bucket". True dat
the cops are being surprisingly chill about david hanging from a tree with no pants.
I think you're my feminist conscience sometimes.
Im going for myspace 2006 goth bitch. Your worst nightmare
and by running errands I mean eating an entire bag of milanos by myself in the Walmart parking lot
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