Raise your hand if you bought 2 annoying girls shots of water. CLOWNS.
He told me he had never done that before...I responded with "clearly"
I just walked by a homeless man reading the money section of USA Today...
I should be nowhere even remotely near facebook in this condition.
Do you remember snorting allspice and yelling at doughnut shop girl?
It's amazing I mean I blew that senator just for him to deny me marriage.... Politics suck and he swallowed!
It's a pretty amazing thing to watch... He used "Rad tits" as his pick up line of the night. And it worked... 3 times
You know, having a conversation evolve from attractive men to roommate orgies would be weird with anyone else, but you get me.
There is no sno cone on earth better than alone naked time. Side note: text when you all are headed home.
He's mad at me because I said I wouldn't date him if his dick was smaller. I fail to see the issue
So if he doesn't show up do we eat his birthday cake? Because I'm stoned and wrestling is on. What's the proper protocol
He couldn’t find my clit with a map. Literally. I drew him a map.
Boredom is so much more tolerable when you're stoned off your ass.
He’s like Batman if Batman went down on me and gave me multiple toe curling orgasms. He left without saying a word before I pulled the pillow off my face
Find out if he’s shared his techniques with a friend and set me up with him. You know I’ve always had a thing for Robin!!!!
I think it's a bit on the nose for the Uber driver to play stairway to heaven while driving like A psycho.
Randomize
