i must have dtf stamped on my forehead
it was average length and chubby
so kinda like him?
now i'm wondering if all guys are shaped like their penis...
I will give you vagina for bag of have'a corn chips.
after the first blizzard, i went out and bought a thirty and put it in a cooler and hid it out in the backyard. now the second blizzard has deposited 2 feet of snow on top of said cooler. there is a shovel and treasure map over here waiting for you
it was such a weird mix, KFC and penis
I do. There's a bald headed guy whose kinda hot. I might rub his head. I've only had 2 beers
My horoscope told me I'm getting laid tonight. Please don't make the stars be liars
This shit I'm taking feels like I've eaten every burrito in the world and chased that with an aquarium of hot sauce.
I barely even remember him. He is just a distant beard in my past.
Half the people who compete die. All the rest either lose their minds or grow an innate fear of sharks, vodka, and fishbowls
And my only real exposure to Russian culture is you and Internet porn.
I guess she was just worried I'd end up sleeping with you again
It's not too late to disappoint her you know...
There they were doing the deed on the beach, looked like two seagulls fighting over a chicken bone.
I'm sitting on the couch playing the sims, how's ur night going?
I'm sitting on my floor, drinking wine, and listening to bette midlers "wind beneath my wings"
Why are our lives so predictable?
I am eating croutons on my bathroom floor. Are you happy?!
Randomize
