i was rollin on her like bob the builder
Your sister thinks she pees out of her clit. Did you have Sex Ed or Sunday School growing up?
Cops showed up at 4 am to address a noise complaint and she called them pussies for not doing shots with us.
She gave me a blow job and her mom gave me blueberry muffin afterwards. I love them.
I vomitted in the hotel where they film gossip girl last night. Everywhere.
all of his pictures were taken on a library computer, how did you even consider fucking him?
seriously, i am too high for the omelet station to be playing Being For The Benefit Of Mr Kite at 7am
You slept with a red coat way too close to independence day. It's just very unpatriotic.
I am one Jewel song away from suicide watch
Oh ya, I forgot to tell you, last night I woke up to the sound of you peeing on the floor next to the fridge, didn't remember until now. Have fun at Dayton!
you smell like cheap hookers & chicken nuggets.
The guy I'm talking to drunk texted me his essay last night and he asked me to revise it
No. I'm sorry but once your "would go gay for" list exceeds five people, you're bi. Get over it.
Yo whoever left a thong on the dining room table, first of all get help second of all please remove it now
I woke up in my neighbors backyard with glitter on my teeth and sparklers super glued on my bra. which part was your fault?
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