so high. i feel like my whole body is a boner
sometimes you just have to masturbate at your friend's house.
He tried to pick up a girl by telling her about his homosexual experience in high school.
there was a kid getting taken out of the waterpark handcuffed to a wheelchair singing "tryna catch me ridin dirty"
don't judge, it's breakfast wine Wednesday.
I'm going to join a nudist colony to win $1000. There are no down-sides to this.
I slept with him because his girlfriend should know better than to be with him given is reputation. It was like sex and a lesson all in one.
They said I was more of a mess than the German. I have achieved the unachievable, you may bow down to me
Seeing the pictures of him and i, I'm giving whiskey the win on this one. Definitely had beer goggles.
I haven't received a dick pic from him lately. He's not even my boyfriend and I'm concerned. I hope he's alright.
This is your morning-after text courtesy of your very confused friend!! :) To discuss "what the hell were you trying to tell me last night," press 1. To laugh over your drunken antics, press 2. To pretend like none of it even happened (or to respond with concurrent confusion because you have no idea), press 3.
Well, I can mark "throwing up in a daycare bathroom due to a hangover" off my bucket list.
75% of my food budget goes to wine, the rest to chips and salsa.
I don't trust him but hanging out with him might be fun
he's literally satan but yeah probably
Where do you think your fantastically immense lady-boner for men in uniform comes from?
Randomize
