How does everyone that never saw me naked know I'm built like a smurf?
Threesome last night. Not that cool, you tend to pick a favorite.
I reached in my backpack to pull out my laptop. I found my bottle of Jack and 2 bottles of Coke. It's going to be a good class.
I understand that I gave you a nose bleed with a cheeto last night and for that I apologize
If you're trying to piece together your night, I can tell you where those tassels came from.
Did we fight the bathroom girl ? She just wanted to give us lotion and condoms.
The straight guy here is hot. He described himself as Christian grey without the money and my vagina fell out of my body
I sang "A Whole New World" while I took his virginity
That is awesome that you did that.
I woke up in confetti... confetti and shame
You slept on a pillow of digiorno
There's nothing more rewarding than telling you that I fucked your dad
We had sex and I never took my mets hat off... I feel like Duda knows and approves.
Adulthood is punching a guy in the face when you find out he's trying to fuck you and he's married instead of fucking him regardless and believing anything he says
I just ate the lyft drivers bacon cheeseburger. Well fuck me this night escalated quickly.
We should get drunk in walmart
when?
20 minutes ago
Randomize
