I'm going to use my one free fuck up card tonight.
What'd you do?
Its more like what im about to do.
apparently i broke a 100 dollar bill to tip the bartender on a free drink
i'm touring the leper colony via mapquest street view so we dont have to go there
a strip club that doesn't allow touching or asking for sex... whats the point?
unless her vagina can tell me my horoscope in sign language, I'm not going.
Cumbucket.....OH MY GOD THAT COMES UP AUTOMATICALLY NOW!!
just found the land before time on youtube... I'm so fucked for finals
all ill say about last night is that we tried to stop you. oh and the bus you're on is going to nashville.
im sleeping in a hamic at a mansion. best hangover ever
We didn't have beer, so we played mini-beer pong with shots and frozen peas.
Things I just found under my covers: protein bar, string cheese, vibrator.
hot boxing the bathroom at chili's. where the fuck are you, it's too big of a box for just one person.
This is embarrassing but i think i might have left my fake tooth at your house on your night stand.
The angle I tried to shoot a load on her face was unfortunate. I accidentally came on the David Bowie tribute she had out. Oddly, that made it more erotic.
So after the absinthe shots_____(fill in the blank area for me please)......
you took my virginity. you can't have my alcohol too.
Randomize
