well..after leaving the bar you handed me your wallet and said you didnt need it cause you were going to find the cash cab and added 'i'll see you on tv'
2 showers later and I'm still finding cum on random body parts of mine
Doctorate. Vaginahole. Cinnamon. Rainbow. Fill in the blanks in the morning.
Yeah. I stopped her before she flashed the guy for a free slice of pizza. She called me a gentleman and then before I knew it she was in my bed.
What I'm trying to say is, that time you chained me to my dresser and made me beg for it was incredibly romantic.
I told my dad my stomach hurt and he bet me ten bucks I couldn't throw up on command. He has no idea what I did last night and I got ten bucks.
Cry into your wine glass and then drink the tears, it's like the fountain of youth
He told me I smelled like fruit loops and then bit me on the tit
He's hot, you can get laid, and you may get free drugs. It's the trifecta of banging a drug dealer
I'm not sure how to explain it, but I feel like our penises have a connection. Like long lost brothers. We're not even gay.
I swear to god....if you can give yourself a brazilian you can take a fucking bullet
Like I blink, and he's face first in my vagina.
Just packed a snack to eat on the way to McDonald's. That stoned.
Looks like a sea otter shaved my vagina. Keep an eye out for me this weekend, no one can see this.
Put my boyfriend in a chastity cage while he was passed out last night. Now I control his orgasms.
Randomize
