Midget sex pt 2 tonight
Just found custom condoms. Guess I'm not getting any work done today.
Ive consumed more rum studying for law school finals than I did that time I fucked that fat chick in the back of VW Beetle. It's all ugly, but for different reasons.
I fcuked ip.
Is this your way of telling me that you got drunk in your office before meeting with your dissertation advisor again? Or that you finally banged that freshman fraternity pledge?
Is it bad if one of my goals right now is to snort blow through a licorice?
Don't answer that. It is bad.
Do you know of any good hiding spots in the Atlanta area?
My love will cover her like lulu lemon yoga pants. Casually supportive and always complimenting your Ass.
Do you have any need for a scary clown mask?
I think now I understand why people say my penis is pretty.
I have to confess something, I may or may not have knocked on your window at 2:30 am while balancing on some guys hands. We found tequila.
He put chocks of wood in front of his doors to stop me from leaving. I'm not nearly drunk enough for that to be appropriate behaviour.
Omg yes! I just found a random muffin! Don't question it. Just praise the miracle.
Who are you to come into MY house and tell me when I can or cannot take my pants off?
Monday afternoon and I'm still hungover from Valentine's Day. I think I'm winning at the single life.
Which one have i been cheating ON and which one have i been cheating WITH if i met them the same night & have been dividing time equally?
Randomize
