Fucking hipsters really piss me off man. They are just such punk as bitches, all of them. Oh, and fuck Ed Hardy too.
Let's bang like we're on a Lifetime Channel movie.
This is even worse then that time I fucked a guy just because he had air conditioning.
I think our camping neighbours like us. We're the drunk girls trying to chop firewood with no pants on at 3 in the afternoon.
By the way, we're gonna have to get a new rug for the livingroom i kinda started ours on fire...
He's single. I'm single. We should rekindle our eighth grade romance over a box of wine and carefree sex.
I just googled, "how to do boob makeup" thats the kind of night I wanna have.
It's like some sort of initiation to finger one of them... so I did it. And got high fived afterwards like a dozen times.
Those were right hand only?
But I'll just tell people it was a bar fight... Sounds a lot better than "well I was drunk and alone and eating Special K naked in my bed"
woke up with empty beer can still duct taped into my fists and the word "dove" written on the back of my neck
I'm bringing my passport in case we get drunk and wind up in Mexico
Definitely just threw up in a mcds cup going through Wendy's drive thru. I'm way to hungover to go to work today
I know I've become a responsible adult because this time, I'm not going to do the drugs I found on the ground
I was desperate and wasn't about to let my cereal get soggy so I ate it on the toilet. Don't let me repeat last night.
If you're not my stylist, having sex with me, or agreeing to have sex with me don't fucking touch my hair.
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