dunno bout you, but i grow tired of beef curtains
last night he was wasted watching Entourage and changed everyone in his phone book to LLOYD!!!!
You love popeyes more than me
does delicious chicken come out of your vagina?
she was on her period so I asked if she wanted to make ass babies
Man now I have poo on my blackberry!!!
brownberry?
having sex with him was like banging macgyver. he did the most amazing shit with the simplest things
she is like cheap alcohol. you can only get so buzzed before you get sick.
it's official, i know exactly what cross streets we're at by the bumps when i give him road head
when she was 9 she got kicked out of our 4-H camp dance for pole dancing on the spirit stick
he was gone before i woke up. left a pee stain, phone number, note and $20 for sheets. safe to say i will not be calling.
We're at the hospital. She got a head rush and fell and now blood everywhere. Smoke the rest, just save her a bowl
I don't think we had sex because when I woke up he was still wearing the chicken suit.
No we just stood in the kitchen and laughed for 2 hours about how funny the popcorn noise was.
I deleted his number so I had to go into my old voicemails which are saved through my gmail and search his name... Never underestimate the resourcefulness of a drunk girl on a mission for dick
YOU BETTER NOT BE SHAVING YOUR LEGS RIGHT NOW IM TRYING TO HELP YOU
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