I'm sitting in front of the mirror eating cereal and pondering how my boobs got so big
Welcome to my life
i hope not, i just know that at one point I was sitting on the bathroom floor eating bugles and crying because i had no one to show that it looked like I had witch nails when i stuck them on the ends of all ofmy fingers.
Just walk-of-shame'd past fifteen little girls at summer camp. Take a good look girls, I am you in twelve years.
I'm a 23 year old virgin. I've masturbated in ways you can't even imagine.
Watching water boil has never been so amazing. I love wake-and-bakes.
If you could come over after class and poke me with a stick to see if im still alive id really appreciate it
Sorry if this is weird, but please don't have sex in my truck. I get to be the first...
Broeke and glass. I feel so and. Appilogixe in morbing.
At some point he mentioned fried rice and take out... I don't think we know how sexting works
Dude at one point I lost you only to find you sitting in the bushes eating pizza.
i just told him to get ready, because I'm going to be taking out my anger over the Super Bowl out on his penis.
I have finally found someone I enjoy for reasons that do not necessarily include his dick
Then you fell out of your chair, looked right at me and said, "You are sooo drunk."
WHAT THE FUCK I JUST PULLED TWO TAMPONS OUT OF MY VAGINA. WHERE DID THE OTHER ONE COME FROM??
....surprise!
cant one of your roommates drive you?
You came in my eye once. You owe me.
ill be there in 20
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