meet me in the bathroom in 10 mins.
wait what? who are you hooking up with in the bathroom?!
aww shit wrong text.
I'm the only one here who isn't hooking up, coming out of the closet, or crying because of one of those 2 things.
No matter how fun it seemed the night before you will always regret taking those pictures, you will always regret eating as much as you did, but you will never regret the great lengths you had to got to get those bruises.
i live my life in a constant state of hangover.
Same, I didn't even get to be tarzan this summer
is it a bad thing if he can only get off when i start talking like one of the girls from Jersey Shore??
You are like a prophet. It's amazing how many people you convince to be lesbians.
Found out my brother is now my eskimo brother...One of my proudest times as a brother
My mom just told me to make sure my face isn't on the front cover of the newspaper on 4/21. Challenge accepted
when i first looked at you, you weren't wearing any pants. but then i realized you had them around your neck as a cape.
The sad thing was my husband told her its ok to make out with me. Bar Tuesdays will live on regardless.
Awkward sister question: which game of thrones female left would you fuck?
I wasn't that gone.
Dude, you cried and said how sorry you were when we asked why you had the dip.
so he found out i have him as "average size" in my phone. fair to say we arnt going to be dating anymore
Only you would offer whiskey to a man in liver failure.
Randomize