Yeah. We was talkin. Its ok. My bed is too filled with pam for sex. Its like a slip and slide of butter product.
i just discovered a movie that charlize theron is a sex addict. i think my prayers have been answered
just woke up to find an unpeeled banana, with a condom on, halfway into my vagina. this better not be you trying to be funny
Thank you for getting us into that car accident. I have had more guys hit on me than ever before because of my broken fingers.
yep. it's official. for $40 they will let you lick the stripper pole.
You told me "I need to pound this drinks if I'm going to pretend his dick is big enough" then left. Dollar night quotes 2012
I just duct taped myself into my costume. I apologize in advance if you find me in a compromised position involving duct tape and underwear when you get home tonight
I'm thinking blowjobs and wheelchair sex should be part of any post-injury wellness plan.
Everyone was trying to get you to do a keg stand but you refused & instead declared you could do it yourself, crouched on the keg in your 6 inch heels, leaned over, and gave yourself one.
He was pretty handsy. Told me I tasted like smoke. Good think he tasted that and not the stomach acid I just puked not ten minutes before.
I saw a classic trojan enz laying on his desk. So he's probably not into the kinky shit.
We were ushered out of Medieval Times by a squire for making out in the torture chamber. Children were present.
Bring me pizza. I'll trade you your underwear you left here for 2 slices.
I'm pretty sure I naked in my first year of college more than I was as a baby.
Dude. That's like masturbating until the point that you're going to climax, then stopping, waiting for a few seconds and then starting all over. While that does lead to an altogether more powerful orgasm, it's still annoying as hell until you get there.
I was not expecting that analogy.
No one ever expects that analogy.
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