You kept yelling that her vagina looked like a hatchet wound.
Sorry I had passed out by this time I think, with the chicken fingers ON my face in my bed, with all the lights on, and ketchup all over.
Ever had blood in your semen? I am guessing that's a problem.
I hope, cuz I was gunna get "celebritory drunk" but now I have to get "I'm disappointed drunk"
He corrected my use of grammar... I think we both know that means i have to sleep with him
My vagina bone hurts from grinding on that dude so hard.
Sex-sore abs and my workout pants have gravel stains on the knees. It's like the workout of shame.
Jesus these cramps...it's like every potential fetus I swallowed last night is personally punching me in the uterus
I mean there is a rehab there so its gotta be a good time
I dunno. We kind of want to have a hippie communing with nature type break. But because we're such alcoholics I feel like we'll just be wasted the whole time in addition to hugging trees and shit
In the mean time, I'll continue to kick ass at running and become a successful stripper while he might hook up with one average looking girl he met at a club. I so win.
I remember caressing his hands asking him if he moisturized, then i proceeded to put his hands on my face
I was thirsty after the sex and it was a long trek back to res so naturally I stole chocolate milk from his fridge as I left
Date with Air Force guy was nice btw. And for my next trick I'll talk him into fucking me in his fighter jet at 30,000 ft.
You spent the entire night trying to catch pigeons and hugged a homeless guy and then gave him a pregnancy test.
Randomize
