Haha oh wow he'd be perfect. He's got everything MTV looks for in a real world cast member. Gay. Tool. From Methuen
i just got fired from my job because i was "too smart" and my immedate response was i am WAY too stoned to be considered smart, and theni walked out the door.
wow. i have no words.
The hospital said it would be 'irresponsible' for them to allow people to book stomach pumps.
you woke me up in the middle of the night to tell me you were taking off your pants and it was not an invitation.
I had to step in when you tried to make it rain baking powder on my sister
i'm not entirely sure that 'not getting kicked out of the bar until it got dark' really classifies as 'doing better'
Oh, I'm just lighting tennis balls and WD-40 on fire, what are YOUUU doing?!
God you people are gross. Come collect your unconscious friend.
Can you pick me up a bottle of make-an-ass-of-myself tonight?
Do you want cuervo gold or silver?
I mean I feel like if you explain to the emoji app company that your friend got plastered and fell to the ground and is trying to scheme her way back to normal life and get her dignity back they would understand just how necessary it is to have a fingers crossed emoji...
He wanted to drink hypnotic from my butt crack. I need to move out this state.
I may have played more drinking games with my family this last week than all of freshman year...
Showed up to family party blacked out and in a turkey costume. I'd say thanksgiving was a success.
I have a completly random but serious question. Can I make a paper mache mold of you ass and turn it into a pinata filled with airplane bottles of liquor? Its for my art class
Would the comment "Down Goes Frasier" be too inappropriate at this time?
Randomize
