So i had sex for a couple seconds last night
i think the next time he gets me off i'm going to scream bangarang
ru fi oooo
Tim hortons said i dont meet their criteria. What the fuck criteria is that? You put bagels in an oven.
I just found a bag of teeth...
This is the 4th time we've hooked up, and this morning we woke up, he got out of bed and left. Left me alone in his apartment with 3 of his friends. Without even a word. Why do i like this guy?
You need a Jiminy Cricket, but for sexual decisions.
Don't pretend like we're functional. We're gonna discuss this drunkenly via text the way serious conversations should take place.
I'm to the point where I'm fantasizing about Iron Chefs going down on me.
Riding the train home at 6 am for class still drunk is losing its novelty in my junior year
orgasmnado...tomorrow night
That's what I'm talking about
guy at the bar just asked how many cows we have on our land, then proceeds to ask me out. you know your from the country when....
Yeah I mean subtle isn't how I'd describe your flirtation strategy last night
Micheal let me call him captain america while we fucked. It was awesome
he told me his feelings for me AFTER sex, so that means he meant it right?
She's throwing a party for a guy that just got out of rehab?
Randomize
