That guy youre talking to looks like Brian from Family Guy.
You remember that guy Joey? The pastors son that plays Jesus every year?
Yeah?
Stuck it in his pooper.
I just realized that I'm gonna have to lower my standards if I want random head.
The guy I fucked last night is well worth up the ass tuition. I just wish I could tell dad thanks!
found my necklace. it was safe with all 6 boxes of peeps that i bought that night.
She was so morning drunk she asked the lady at brueggers for a bandaid and my self respect back
Well this lady at the bar told me I was a natural on the tambourine and that it was my God given talent. and then she gave me a tambourine.
WHY DID I INFORM THE ENTIRE BATHROOM I DONT HAVE AN STD?!?!?!!
It's fine. I wouldn't trust either of them to be my workplace drug buddy.
I don't want random pictures of your morning wood. It's like, what a glorious morning oh a penis.
So....I just took a paddle fan on high speed to the side of the head while getting head...still finished the job, good thing I'm drunk and couldn't feel it.
I haven't had a bra on since I quit my job.
I think I sent pictures of my boobs to an Olympic athlete...
she referred to her cum as “pussy butter” so needless to say we had a good night
I refuse to take any type of advice let alone love advice from a motherfucker who is missing 3 fingers from a Fucked up masturbating accident.
Randomize
