I think dad's getting high again. His last google search was "awesome ping pong shit."
Ever since they found the bud they've been sending me visa gift cards instead of cash. Bastards.
Boys can't fool me. I know "want to come up and meet my dogs?" is just a nondirect way of saying "come up and meet my penis".
I seriously dont think i have ever ridden a horse sober.
i'm not sure if i'm mentally prepared for this.. politeness? proper grammar? book reader ? this is a whole new meaning of the species penis for me.
Going home with an argentinian named sulvio. Ill let you know how it goes.
One day her vagina is just going to shrivel up and seal itself with it's self preservation mechanism
No fucking judgements. You know me. Chinese food vent sessions are safe places.
He's on the floor in just a Burberry tie. All my girl parts just tapped out.
That was the second worst thing to happen to my asshole.
New vibrator arrived today.
How was it?
Who are these wee mortals we call men?
At one point, the bartender wrote out the words "please kill me" on some receipt paper and slid it across the bar to me.
I think i should either cut my hair or buy a dildo.
I'm getting paid to get fucked up. How much better could this get?
I just googled "how to blow an uncircumcised guy" and did serious research. That's how badly I want to fuck him.
You misuse your internet privileges.
Randomize
