I met a girl last nite that charged by the inch. i didnt have enough money but i figured shed be a good deal for u
3:26am: come over
you purposely dodge me and you could have stopped me from leaving, you know how far i live. YOU come over
4:11am: mnlodp
dude I don't understand hebrew and I'm not coming over
Fucking love it maybe bedazzle some baby seals? Make them cuter? Who would club a bedazzled baby seal? Only a fucking monster.
Im listening to a jazz version of dick in a box.
Party priorities: alcohol > girls > music > cups > decorations
I just watched a woman break three wood planks with her boobs. I don't know how I feel about that
This girl brought half a watermelon to class. I want to be on her level.
i'm surprised you didn't wake up. like i literally came when he was fingering me as i was spooning with you and all you did was mumble "that's a good idea, mom" and pull the sheets away from me.
The worst part was I wasn't conscious enough to move out of the way, I knew i was being puked on but I couldn't move.
I guess? According to Jeff his mom is wondering when the grand babies will arrive. So I don't think they like ME so much as my supposed functioning uterus
Major win last night. I traded my roommate two cigs for a six pack and a bag of beef jerky. This has been a Brian weekend update
The band last night was really good
That was definitely karaoke. Guess that answers my follow up question on how drunk you were.
Just saw the mall santa roll by on a rascal scooter holding a chic-fil-a milkshake and stop to chat up trio of cute 20-somethings. New hero.
The coast is clear - also, would it bother you if I chose not to wear pants?
Dude it's unhealthy how much I love vagina in my face
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