youre lurking in front of me
i mean i cnt help that this campus has the highest STI rate
did it hurt when the cum got in your eye
not so much hurt, more like a stinging sinsation like mouthwash
There is a distinct lack of front teeth here.
I finally got laid.. you said it wouldn't happen.
If everything I've heard is true, then she's lost her virginity three times
and then the entire party sang the national anthem a capella around the keg.
Makin mac and cheese without you. Definitely seem to do this better inside you. Splashed boiling water on my cock
Standing on the street at 6am in Hong Kong drinking beer. Watching all the hookers do the walk of shame from our hotel. How did I get here? Maybe all my bad choices in my life were really good ones?
thanks for being my moral compass. and thanks for not always pointing north so i can be slutty and not feel bad about it.
Honest to god.. She looks better fat. I never would have imagined those words coming out of my mouth, EVER.
She's dressed as a slutty goth schoolgirl. Those are my three favorite things. God himself could not give me whiskey dick.
WHY ARE THERE NO BLACK EMOJIS? I CAN NEVER PROPERLY IDENTIFY MYSELF.
So, I'm about to take my pants off in the Walmart parking lot, when am old lady parks next to me. I'm all the way in the back next to the semis. What the hell?
Pumped to get "pass out-wake up in Berlin-buy a chinchilla" drunk?
Randomize
