I wish my penis had an off switch
I think they should rename 16 and pregnant to "I was fucked in highschool and all I got was a baby and humiliated infront of the nation on MTV"
i almost got kicked out of the rave because i was trying to get in on some couple's makeout sessions
and then he proceeded to take what he called, a whip cream shower.
come to Starbucks. I'm the fat girl eating a whole pizza sitting on the ground
Nothing like buying a handle and a 36 pack with a baby strapped on.
Her brother is definitely not gay. I hooked up with him when she was sleeping.
Hey I came back and we made joints with the breathalyzers the cops left last night.
Idk who invented dominoes cheese steak pizza but I wanna lick their balls
they saw the dick pic he sent and started calling him 'subway'
I didn't know what to say so I just sent him a chicken emoji
Don't worry you weren't as drunk as you thought. You only fell 4 times.
I remember the Prince Albert and the three penises in the threesome. But the rest no.
I just discovered my new vice. Cotton candy vodka. Its like a carnival in my mouth, puking of the tilt-a-whirl included.
Moms passed out wet and naked in a rocking chair again....
Randomize
