if you like me you must not know who I am
haha it's okay then, bc he only killed a canadian, they're not real people
is not sure whether or not everyone at the club last night calling me a-easy is a good thing?
when we were having sex and i started crying and telling you i missed you..why couldnt you stop and tell me how you felt or make me feel better?you kept going...
yah i'm on my way- is everything ok?
i'm holding a walmart bag of my own hot vomit that i closed up with some random chicks hair tie. we r pretty fucking far from ok
Its the Friday before break. There are 20 kids in my 300 person lecture hall. All with the same what the fuck am I doing here look on there face.
I just debated creating a mirror system so I could play Batman while in the bathroom. I think I need help.
I already knew that. But I also don't agree with stifling creativity.
Someone fucked up, the stop Kony day is on 4/20,
Hey please buy toilet paper today. Plastic grocery bags are starting to hurt now
Watching him and my sister argue over a rum and coke about who's going to chop the coffee table in half with a hatchet...
Turns out the guy I peed on gave me a ride back to my dorm this morning.
You are a god.
Who knows. Maybe the world would be a better place if more people sent their drug dealers thank you cards.
I fucked some frat guy. Then I found my brother after and made him take his shirt off and then I made him tell me he loves me
I ripped off the screen and literally supermaned through my bedroom window. That wasted
After I chugged my beer the cop slapped my ass and said "atta girl" this can't be real life.
Randomize
