she's naming her girl london marie
that kid will be born with a tramp stamp
they got in a fight during sex...she came out yelling and covered in chocolate
Is it bad to go up to the security desk and ask them for the name of the guy I signed in last night? I have absolutley no clue
Its what jesus would do if there were bud light in his time. I feel obligated.
Turns out my drunken logic and wordsmithing isn't quite the same as the sober version. I'm pretty sure I made fun of the managers mom at one point
yeah, we figured out that passing a joint between cars was a pretty bad idea
Woke up with a raging boner...good feeling abt this trial
It was a legit night tell he threw a snowball in the bar, thats when I knew it was time to go to the next bar.
My only objective is to get drunk enough to forget the last 364 days.
I imagine I kinda look like a banana with one boob out.
Since you're going to wake up and see one bajillion missed calls from me, I just want you to know that's a perfectly reasonable number. Now come downystairs.
he just kept repeating "those were some pretty nipple-y tits" over and over the rest of the night
she passed out standing next to the car. her head hit the door so hard the alarm went off. she instantly snapped out of it and started sprinting away
I. Am. Not. Tattooing. My. Penis.
It's like a donut of clothes around a pair of heels. Like they were transported to another dimension naked.
Randomize
