You saying I have a drinkingg problem is like saying Superman has a flying problem.
She blew me in the back of the cab while eye of the tiger was on the radio. Top five all time automatically
You made out with my dog and told me he tasted like a rainbow.
Well that's the thing. He does want to take me out... To a strip club. I see this going down a very bad road but you know I'm going to go.
Super awkward when the coworker you made out with in exchange for molly last weekend keeps coming over to your cube and trying to talk to you
Full disclosure. I fucked the fatty from work and shit is weird now.
this hangover isn't hhappening. im not letting it
its winning. its definitely happening
did i make more ranch sandwiches last night
you had 4
WHAT KIND OF GUY JACKS OFF TO A PICTURE OF A BUTT WHAT IS THIS THE 1980s
Ok despite the fact that both you and I love dick we could have a great marriage
I bought a vibrating wall dildo with my tax return. You?
THERE IS A DOG IN THE CLUB. I repeat a dog in the club. I might have laid down and petted it..I have no shame.
Annoying and petty is the name of the game and I'm the MVP.
Its a good night when you get to makeout with a cowboy
It involves me, my best friend, and a stripper and her mother.
Randomize
