Could you please tell me why If you were a 21 year old man why you would want to sleep with a girl who has tinkerbell bedding?
Theres a note on my antibiotics that says "Do not chew or crush. Swallow whole." I think that would be a good tattoo for just above my penis.
apparently, it's not a good idea to make jokes about sending newborns through airport security xrays. the moms dont see the humor.
But why'd she put it on the conveyor then?
No. I was horrified and confused as to why you thought scrambled eggs and cottage cheese was a good mix
I drank gravy. I actually drank gravy. This is heaven.
The secrurity code on my debit card is 420, can not lose this card.
Not going outside. I may melt into a puddle of wine
Next sat night Titanic party. Bring your floaties, trashy necklaces, and a large lung capacity. This ship is going downnnnnnn.
But here's the wonderful thing about us. It's us. You could invite me over, get really wasted and end up sleeping with someone else and id be there in the morning to take you to breakfast.
You're not stopping till I see you on the ground trying to hold on to shit
He used the panoramic camera on his iPhone to take a picture of his dick. And it actually filled it. Pretty sure I just came.
There's nothing quite like having a little 8 year old boy hand me a Bible on campus while I'm on my way to the health center because of my recent slutty tendencies.
I watched you down those shots like a lion cub watching its mother rip apart a gazelle
He started yelling terms of endearment at a cheese sandwich. Then he tried to hump it.
One a scale of one to hella drunk, how gracefully can I make it down those stairs
Randomize
