Im mastering the way to pass gas silently.
Any time before 12:00pm. Can go fuck itself.
Reggie can tackle my bush.
RJ thinks I should put one of the muffins in my vagina. Good idea or bad idea?
You stuck your entire fist into a full jar of peanut butter and starting assaulting people
Also, just had a student offer to sell me Xanax. Want some? Just for like a rainy day. Or our memorial day shitshow. Or just another Wednesday night.
Whatever. I'll just fuck him now and deal with the clingyness later.
Yesterdays boozy weather forecast has been extended to today
My vagina is screaming your name . Wtf did you do to it
So much easier to puke and rally now that my gluten's under control
we are the apple cider girls!
Running late for a date because I couldn't get my clothes out from under the dude I spent the night with in time to leave when I planned. This is my life.
I forgot about snapchatting a pic of us, but I remember flossing with your hair.
He was nothing but deer-caught-in-headlight eyes and dick, it was adorable
You took your pants and underwear off as soon as we got to Melissa's and just walked around the entire time like it was completely normal. We even ate pizza together with your vagina exposed. You're my hero.
Do you think he’ll fall in love with me if I tell him I have a nickname for his penis
Randomize
