let's have our labels/stereotypes/careers for each kid by next week.
oh how i love working at summer camp.
I'm seeing double. Its like being in a room full of people
I guess wearing a straight up bikini to class is an early indication that Thirsty Thursday has started.
I doubt were getting our security deposit back... the toilet just fell off the wall
Just did a walk of shame dressed as a cowgirl and walked past his ex's entire sorority. Yippee kye aye, motherfucker.
You know how hard it is to drive a dirtbike down a road with 2 plants of weed on your lap. Fucking hard
OH YEAH AND FORGOT TO THANK YOU FOR THE lack of WARNING THAT HE WASN'T CIRCUMSIZED.
You came home with a traffic cone and said, "this is my birthday condom."
Can vaginas get frostbite?
She had a tattoo on her pelvis that said "it's cock-o-clock" an had clocks and hot dogs exploding away from it. I'd like to tell you it was deal breaker buuuuuuut.......
We both work at 8am and I have to shower but my roommate is passed out on our bathroom floor with the door locked. Merry Christmas.
You seriously don't remember crying about how much you miss your mom right before we hooked up?
Mom kept me on a leash as a kid, did you know this?
When she went in the beer store I got to hold it.
Get ready tonight we are going to get drunk and pierce my nipples
This ice cream is 10x better than the sex I had yesterday
Randomize
