ok, his religious views on facebook are madonna lyrics. we no longer have to wonder about his sexuality.
I'm in my winter jacket and nothing else. very drunk. bring bitches.
Best idea ever: Giving hobos a beer and having a chugging contest to win another beer. Most fun I have had downtown in a while.
Let's go free Charlie Sheen and party with him
stopped you just in time from sledding down the roof.
seeing two hook-ups in tagged in the same picture will send chills down anyone's spine.
She thinks I come over for the sex, but I really come for the snacks.
Hi future me, I saved you a big mac under the bed.
I need to stop ravaging the freshman dorm like a virginity-snatching dragon.
We both got free alcohol and got laid by foreign men last night.
I'm not going out again for the rest of my life. I can't top this.
Here is your half hour reminder. Meet you at emergency room.
I'm not sure what your ex was trying to say to me I was too busy chanting your name in his face
Tried to land my foot on his shoulder and kicked him in the face. Then I fell into a homeless man's bike and posed with a buffalo head. How was your night?
It was a recodring of you having sex ! It was like an ape and a dying mongoose at a buffet Xoxoxo
He ate me out on a washing machine in the 24 hour laundromat. Whoever watches that security camera footage is getting a show!
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