he broke up with me so i peed in his bed
i just threw up in a potted plant at home depot
We discussed how the marijuana was making the dopamine float around our nucleus accumbens last night when we were high. Yet another example of how our science classes are perverting our good times.
Dude, the women on the view have some valid arguments
You know how I know you're gay?
And i generally try not to roofie people when I'm in a committed relationship.
Am I the only one that feels like there are hundreds of tiny people having a rave and stomping and kicking around inside my head this morning?
Just had Jager bombs for breakfast with her roommate... I do not regret this newfound lesbianism.
He doesn't care. He wouldn't care if my vag grew arms and smacked him in the face.
Your roommate from freshman year just had a baby. I think you're winning. Hooray for fifth year seniors!
Would you and/or him be willing to dress up like the phantom, sing me music of the night and then bone the shit out of me? this is important.
I swear to god little potato creatures live inside Belvedere bottles and claw at your throat as you swallow shots.
You let someone poor beer into my mouth off of a balcony. Best friend test failed.
Haahahahahahhaaa
The next time we go out, we're bringing a jar so that people can contribute to the rest of what I need to come up with for my breast implants... We'll show them yours for inspiration and persuasion.
You kept licking my face. You said you were making sure I was real.
I should be in a better mood, I just went home and had a quickie on my lunch break.
I had a sandwich.
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