sooooo how many boyfriends is too many?
Petting the cat and listening to "you've got a friend". This is why I smoke weed. To make sense of situations like this.
Still can't decide which I'm more disappointed about: the blow job I gave him or the donuts I ate after.
Well no need to be a stranger, even if you aren't interested in joining my bisexual polygamist marriage. New city, new friends.
I just threw up in the bathroom next to the zebra exhibit. The kids don't know I skipped a beat. Best nanny, ever.
Not enough. Tell the person next to you to give you their drink. I give you permission. And then chug it. Be a hero tonight.
Sooo the theme of my 21st is rapidly becoming Gay Mexico
damn. i can't believe how fast that went from 0 to lesbian
i have an important question...can you drink in jail?
One of the annoying girls in my 7 AM class showed up drunk for her 21st birthday and just auctioned off her fake ID.
Things I have learnt this week: bubble mix is toxic. Extremely toxic.
Spent the majority of my senior year drunk. Graduate of 2011, I think 2011. Probably.
I can never have sex in Utah again. The altitude had me breathing like a fat kid going up stairs.
i need some magic done to my vagina
He let me eat chexmix while we fucked... I think I love him.
Randomize
