Did you fuck her?
If by "fuck her" you mean "threw up on her shoes," then yes, I achieved that.
The girl I brought home was really impressed with the pile of blow you were doing while watching "Intervention."
You brought back some girl with you at 3am and introduced her to everyone as "hot pocket"
Just scheduled a cocaine deal around my drug counsler appointment. Why yes, thank you, I do enjoy the irony that is my life.
in hindsight, $10 Malibu buckets were a terrible idea...
You're a disgrace to the female race and the love triangle and halloween.
I'm pretty sure I did the Macarena with a gay guy while shot gunning a beer
So apparently blacked out me judges a man based on what type of dinosaur he would be...
There's a certain feeling that only comes from wearing pearls to hide hickeys
he just kept texting even after we lit his shoelaces on fire. he just calmly walked into the pool... still texting.
I got asked to "be the filling in a man sandwich." You don't get to pick the club again. EVER.
im glad to be known as "the girl you had sex with on a golf course"
I made him laugh his dick is mine
I farted in the parking garage and it echoed.
I was left to my own devices with nothing to do but drink
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