Also do the "tongue the pee-hole" thing.
I made my rape whistle into a roach clip device. FRESHMAN YEAR!
I always know the weekend is over when the real license comes out and the fake goes back into the hiding spot.
First coke bust down the road. Spring is finally here.
Also on a more serious note, what says pull my hair more: straight or soft curls?
You got cut off after you tried to make the dog funnel moscato.
I gave an inspirational speech to a bum and called a bride ugly at her wedding reception.
He is crying over the toilet and his friends just came in and tried to make him take another jello shot.
Hey, you gotta think, is this REALLY the penis you wanna see for the rest of your life? THINK!
Yep. How's your hangover?
It's like I fucked its sister and it's getting back at me.
I'm not winning any crowns in the Miss Emotionally Stable pageant either...
Doing a walk of shame at Wal-Mart at 3:30am because when I left at 11pm I was getting milk
I just want to meet a nice normal guy that doesn't want me to taze him while we have sex. . . . .is that too much to ask for?
This is random but I just wanted to thank you for all the things you taught me sexually in life.
I kept yelling "BY ORDER OF THE PEAKY FUCKING BLINDERS" in a terrible brummie accent at everyone I saw wearing a flatcap.
Randomize
