The only thing he got me during our relationship was a cum stain in my backseat. I choose winners.
It's American, baby! There ain't nothin gross about America.
Does adding vodka to a protein shake defeat the purpose?
he told me he's been faithful to his girlfriend and is gonna try to stay that way. challenge accepted.
dude you guys. You can't throw up in the recycling bin. I don't think vomit is recyclable
Did they have a limo or was i just stoned?
I'm going to do lines of vitamin c I cannot be sick for halloween
my head gets it he sucks but my LAME FUCKING HEART IN MY VAGINA doesnt
Welcome to drink and talk like a Russian afternoon.
Pirate drinking day will be planned for shortly
I approve this so hard.
I woke up in an apt hallway this morning and a nice lady brought me coffee cause she thought I was homeless
A place where it's acceptable to show body parts is not a good place for me to be.
I told my manager that I would be coming in to work either high from edibles on purpose or tripping on acid by accident so he knows to check my work tomorrow.
having flashbacks of licking salt of your dick for my shot of tequila
Are you drunk texting me again or are you just being your regular stupid self?
yes
the guy in front of me in walmart is buying a blowtorch, potato chips, and condoms. I'm curious and horrified at the same time.
Randomize
