We asked "Is that Andy puking in the bushes, its 7 AM" he looks up and goes "It's okay guys, its 7:30"
You were pretty committed to that cat costume. Between pukes, you would meow and assure people that you just had a hairball you couldn't get out...
I've hooked up with six guys in my ethics class next semester...I feel like I've failed already
You have proved your worthiness to join me on the quest of taking shots at every academic building on campus by showing up drunk to our test at 12:30 today
you called me in the middle of the night, wandering the streets, in search of "the ultimate burrito"
I legit had a 15 minute convo about dinosaurs with a guy at the bar last night cuz he was wearing a jurassic park shirt
Your text makes more sense read in reverse.
When he swipes my v card it will be comparable to my bat mitzvah. should I make sweatshirts or sweatpants?
Her tits are absolutely massive. Like ripleys believe it or not shit
I just came so hard my hamstring felt like it was going to tear. I am also now a screamer
I got asked to "be the filling in a man sandwich." You don't get to pick the club again. EVER.
she doesn't even know what year it is. She just stumbles around life with a bottle of rum
I fought a guy last night because he said "extra pulp orange juice is the best orange juice"
there's a 50/50 chance the night will end in alcohol-induced rituals of satanic nature
You WHAT?!?!
Paid. A. Homeless. Guy. To. Throw. A. Drink. In. Her. Face.
I fucking love you.
Randomize
