i'm drinking out of my 'black like my president' mug
how do u look a man in the eye when u own both his daughters V-Cards?
Why would you say my penis is small in front of so many people?
I just five second ruled a donut I dropped at starbucks, everyones staring
10 dollar pizza all the toppings you want. Wait Until You See This Pizza
if women knew the size of my dick, theyd be much more receptive to my sloppy drunken advances
since you saved your number in my phone as "the hot chick you met last Friday" I don't know who you are either
All of the texts in my phone just say "BEER". I woke up with glowsticks on my arm. What happened last night?
I noticed a trail of vomit coming up the drive way. You must be home
cocks speak louder than words, as they say
Nobody says that.
I would just like to point out that a bandaid led to sex. The lesson here is always have a bandaid in your wallet.
I'm just hitting the tip of the iceberg on accents for this trip...so basically my panties are done for.
I kept telling you not to give them blowjobs, but you kept screaming back, "it's okay, we're friends on facebook!"
What happened last night?
Lets just say you asked me a couple times if you had eyeballs..
Got a blowjob while watching James Bond's "Octopussy." My 13 year old self would be so proud
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