She had been watching Bad Girls Club where the annoying girl always says "I RUN L.A.". After she got wasted she kept going up to strangers at the bar yelling "I RUN FAYETTEVILLE." I peed in her drink.
Just met someone from Jersey. No fist pumps or jagerbombs. Kind of disappointed...
no. i just ate a whole thing of hot dogs. me and regret are sleepng alone tonigh.
I changed the background on my phone to a picture of you so whenever I go to look at porn or text another girl I'll have second thoughts
Am I supposed to find that romantic?
the fact that my dorm room overlooks a children's daycare is enough initiative for me to have safe sex.
My mom just told me to make sure my face isn't on the front cover of the newspaper on 4/21. Challenge accepted
He ripped off his shirt and tried to give me CPR. That damn bong.
Omg.....I raised my camera to take a pic at this presentation, and I wanted to zoom in, so I swiped my phone to the left and up pops my dick pic from last night.
I can't bring myself to turn around to see if pple saw it.
Small children cheering my name. I am not a decent enough human being to feel comfortable with this.
I'm just mad because I can't play gta5 all day tomorrow cuz I'll be in court testifying against a craigslist prostitute...
! asked the random counter guy from 7/11 for Percocet. he immediately called his hookup
IF THE GUY WHO I AM BORROWING OUR CAR FROM FINDS ONE CONDOM OR JIZZ STAIN IN THIS CAR HE IS GOING TO CASTRATE MY ASS. SERIOUSLY, DON'T FUCK IN THE CAR.
Learn from my mistakes, you naive soul: Gay love triangles are just as dangerous as straight love triangles.
"Here let me wipe my uterus off your dick" was probably the most unsexy thing said after period sex. I should get an award
He's throwing Skittles into my cleavage and some are rebounding into my crouch.
Well he's scoring either way then.
Randomize