if you come down to my room ill tell you a secret
I am not a stalker...i just bring a whole new meaning to the word love
I can't try on my wedding dress because someone is trying to commit suicide in the store. Is this a sign?
Some drunk couple just made out on the sidewalk and it reminded me some sweet moments we have shared...
I woke up and found 10 txts from him. All sent at 6:30 am, and all about the muffin man.
Finals week has gone away, doo dah doo dah, drink martinis naked day oh da doo dah day
I know. My only sports are biking to buy drugs and running from the police.
Worst decision of artistic career thus far: bringing a banana to eat on male model day.
Well. Your father was, shall we say, privately surfing the Internet when he found a video of you and Kevin. This was on a very public website honey.
By the way, Kevin! OMG good catch honey!
I'm texting an actual stripper. A male stripper. I dont wanna talk about it yet
I accidentally kneed him in the balls while trying to straddle him so we ended up spending the night watching ffm porn online
He just stays over and makes naked pancakes in the morning
I'm way too hungover for life right now
Oh man
I hooked up with the lead singer of the band at the wedding. I am so hungover.
You left your Xanax bottle in my car. Why is the label all smudged?
I spilled wine on it.
Randomize
