I had a bacon mcgriddle for the first time today. It was like eating a baby angel.
when she was 9 she got kicked out of our 4-H camp dance for pole dancing on the spirit stick
That was nice of you. Thank you for respecting the fact that I got cockblocked by a sophomore last night.
The whorange rubbed off. His white shirt was so gross at the end of the night I told him to frame it.
It was a shot marathon. It only ended because we werent drinking in our house apparently we walked into the nieghbors. When they got home thy were soooooo pissed.
I can't remember much from that party after we snapchatted my dancing boobs to all of her contacts
If you set your screensaver to be a slides show, make sure you remove dick pics first. This lesson 1 of living with your great aunt
I'm going to pretend you don't watch My Little Pony and focus on your large cock. Kay? Don't bring it up again.
The only way he could ever pleasure me is if he lit himself on fire and let me watch
Man, that hitchhiker cursed me.
i always handshake my one night stand, im classy like that.
At one point of the night i was standing at the bar and 3 of them had their hands down my pants, they were like thumb wrestling for it.
I’d feel the same about religion. We can talk about it, but I want you to go down on me first
I'm seriously considering selling my books back early. I don't use them anyways and I could really use the beer money..
Omg I just looked in my purse from last night.. 10 bags of gummy bears.
Randomize
