Sponge bath it is.
also, i may or may not be wearing a cape right now. hint: i am.
like if someone fucked a dictionary but instead of having a penis, it was just one of those leap frog educational toys
I hope to god you are high
How did currency from Costa Rica make it's way into my wallet...?
amateur piercings on our way to the beach? check.
your philanthropy is ruining my sex life.
I have been running off of weed, alcohol, and Mexican food. What is Tallahassee.
You threw up on yourself, then proceeded to tell us "to not make a mess in your car"
i sent you a picture of beads you send me a picture of boobs how hard is this to understand
I'm sensing a Yuletide blow job in your future and by future I mean tomorrow
He's so urbane and sleek; so aesthetically chiseled, having endless features to offer me whenever I desire.
Are you fucking a guy or a condo building?
What's protocol when the 18 year old son of an anti-gay preacher sends you a message on Grindr during church?
I'm convinced he's the patron saint of oral sex
Everyone's going out for thirsty Thursday and I'm just like. Cool. Enjoy yourself. I'm gonna eat an entire pizza and watch King of Queens reruns.
I never truly understood the phrase ball is life until I started having to balance NBA finals and all these men with balls i'd like to handle.
Randomize
