I just inadvertently flirted with my coworker's 20-year old son. I've known him since he was 14, yet suddenly he looked different.
You are nothing if not reliable.
Everything that you guys said happened came back to me. like a tidal wave of regret.
I think the imperative here is that I literally knocked down a sorority house with the force of my dick.
whatever happens this semester dont let me be that girl yacking in the urinal. again.
your mom just called me and asked me why i'm not in jail with you right now.
booty call birthday vouchers, best idea ever. it's like giving a present to myself for someone else's birthday.
Things I have learned since the start of my first college spring break: do not fart in an enclosed space (such as a shower stall) when hungover. You will throw up. More lessons to follow as week continues.
foreskin is a definite game changer
You would only karaoke to Spanish songs, but sang with the accent of the french candle stick in beauty and the beast.
They way I see it is I've wasted 7 years of having these glorious tits. I only have about 3 good years left before idk kids or just gravity takes over and they don't look this nice so it's basically open season.
So basically I really like drugs AND banging cops and it's starting to get complicated
Plus my dignity needs a night alone with me.... Oh that's right. I lost it last night
Is it too far to say to someone "you're useless for everything besides sex"
just call my name and ill be there, if we are puking, beating up bitches, or pickin up men, OR avoiding wierd men, so many situations require a wingman
you said you didn't feel like drinking anymore so you mixed vodka with your applesauce and ate it
Randomize
