Turns out I'm a social drinker... I just happen to be REALLY social.
I sharted during my first quiz and I couldn't leave, I went ahead and took the rest of the day off.
After watching Cinemax for a few months, real porn just grosses me out.
I am full of burrito and curiosity
i perioded on his leg
on. his. leg.
You don't even know the meaning of faking an orgasm until you sleep with an uncircumcised ginger.
Let us do this. Tomorrow night is thirsty Thursday. Let us drink whiskey from the bottle and have men in plastic gloves inscribe permanent images of each others faces onto our buttocks.
do you know how ratchet you have to be to get kicked out of a drag club on Halloween weekend??
Just got our of the shower. I'm standing naked in front of my open windows cause fuck my neighbors that's why
I think my sunburn makes my ass look bigger
if i do community service solely to impress a guy, everyone wins, right?
except your soul
The power of the half flaccid cock, and to think, I thought I was just playing accordion in front of her Vagina!
I'll just say I told you so at your funeral
Explain to me again why I'm doing the walk of shame if we fucked at my house?
Well. I think my red tank top is jinxed. this is now the second time it's gotten jizz on it.
Randomize
