I'm sad I can't be there is wknd, I'm laying on the beach and daydreaming of you / crying a bit
I'm watching a porn and daydreaming of you. Sounds like we both need Kleenex
I just saw her punch a kid in the face.. i always knew she was the girl for me.
there is potential here for me to have a consistent access to someone's dick who isn't actually an asshole. i think i'm ready for a relationship.
Quick question... Can I call you daddy? Or would that just really made the whole 8 year age gap a bigger deal...?
Yes, she gives me platonic blowjobs as part of our friendship.
frozen drink friday is suspended until further notice
i jsut waqnnna hugg thw crap outa sokme peoplee
I thought 4 percs were too many but I'm dumping Gogurt on apple pie and taking giant bong rips. This feels right.
She who has the vag holds all the power. He will learn one way or the other.
I woke up on the dog bed, bottle of alcohol still in hand and my thong was hanging off the family portrait.... Yikes
As Scar once said. Be prepared! For the shit show of what's coming tonight
so I ate shit in the bar and took a barstool down with me and this guy helped me up and I just started making out with him. I need to stop meeting men like that
Are you feeling better yet?
I need a nap and a new butthole
The sex was totally worth how awkward its gonna be for the next few weeks
This is very awkward but where is my dildo, Mom
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