So i'm in mason getting an ultrasound.. and there are a bunch of hicks in here with their wild ass children and this one young mom yells at her kid "harley sit!"
You should introduce yourself as garth. As in garth brooks.
"what do u think of parents raising kids to be peeping toms" said guy on bus 2 me
I mean, it really isn't YOUR car until you have sex in it.
i can't tell if you're serious or not, but 420 is gonna be pirate themed
Tis a story best told in person, it involves a golf course, police and vomit
It usually does with you
YOU COME FROM SAD WHALE FAMILY, DEEP IN OCEAN!
Are we sharing a room, or can I pack my vibrator?
Yes to both. We'll use the workout rotation from dorm life.
You told me my blanket felt like ground beef.
I drank it. I drank the beer from '78. I drank my bday beer, I drank my soul
Don't I can pass these orgasm blushes off as sunburn for much longer...
How early is too early to study with margaritas?
He may be 6' 6" but I'm 180 lbs of pure rage and determination
I just walked in on her masturbating to a social anxiety video...
His wife isn’t coming to the wedding! I’ve got 48 hours to home wreck him. Gotta go, I have to shave my vajayjay and buy some really slutty underwear. Love you!
Oh and it’s been a year according to my snap chat memories since I banged your cousin in your sons truck pulled over on Elm St! 😂😂😂😬😳😇
Randomize
