What was that guy's name that you dated that wore the leotard?
My only options right now are Herpes, Gay, or Vanilla.
I fucking love fucking science majors-- she told me that she wanted to know if her gag reflex got better or worse with alcohol, and that her initial evidence had been inconclusive. So, next few weeks, yeah, gettin blown periodically. All I have to do is keep a log.
I don't even have to turn the heat on in my car. Just fart the whole way home.
Without me, you would never be able to say you partied with a midget!
Think worst case scenario and then dress sluttier
I am burnt. Have a black eye. Face dove into the grass and got pissed on. Time of my life. God Bless the USA.
after she rolled over and said 'i'm so glad you're like my gay best friend, love you' then left. did i just get friendzoned AFTER sex??
I just want dates and sex but the option to have that with whoever whenever I want
I feel like I'm in a development meeting for a Lifetime original movie.
Nothing says "back to school" like walking in the first day with a hangover
He managed to rip my nipple last night....
I have an empty apartment, Chinese food, and fresh batteries in my vibrator. There's nothing on this earth that could lure me out tonight.
I got pull-out-my-nuvaring-drunk last night.
Are you rolling a joint while doing homework?
No, I am rolling a joint with my homework.
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