Could guys at least pretend I require some amount of money to be spent before I randomly go down on them?
nutella sex= disaster
i need to know the scientific term for a guy's taint so i can explain what i did last night.
I can't believe you just thanked me for a blowjob on my Facebook wall...
but I'll probably watch some porn later so it's not a complete waste of a Saturday night.
I ran into a hotel and told the doorman he was doing a great job. That was before you cried on my jacket.
Dude we both faced 40s of steel reserve which is like saying, "Hey, I'm a complete piece of shit!"
I need to be more functional. That doesn't mean I'm going to drink less, I just need to wake up and shit
I may or may not have pissed on my floor last night
Welcome to 22
I think tonight's gonna be the night I wear a go pro while trippin on acid
He called me baby cakes during sex... Can U not
Before we have sex for the first time I would like "eye of the tiger" to be playing to mentally prepare me for what I'm about to endure.
My kid made a secret wish that you have a baby... Make good choices today!
And how about the fact that the first time i really truly looked at a guy's dick was in my car. MY CAR. GODDAMNIT!!!
HOLY SHIT HOLY SHIT HOLY SHIT HOLY SHIT
So I just ran in to the Couger you saw me take home last month who i haven't talked to since then at Wawa and she was PISSED.. APPARENTLY i fucked her niece last week
Randomize
