Bitch is talking to much, howd u ever get her 2 shut up?
It's worth it.
How worth it?
Back door worth it
That girl would be way hotter if she changed her face.
I woke up with cheeseburger in my mouth and a deep sense of accomplishment.
He puked, did more shots, and then pissed in a drawer. We thought it was bad enough and all of a sudden...boom-clothes come off and he passes out with slippers and a styrofoam hat on and a guitar hero guitar in hand pretending he was slash.
College freshman give noticeably better blowjobs by the 5th week of the semester.
He tried to use a signal flare to light the bong
And?
He melted the stem
Dude, it's the frankincense and myrrh soap. Smelling like baby Jesus will get you laid.
I just watched a guy smoke weed through a French Horn. He is my hero
You know, I've never slept in a rug with anyone before you
I spent most of my night in the men's room eating popcorn on the garbage can conversing with strangers pissing
Just got referred to as "the girl from Tuesday night" at the Taco Bell drive thru...what happened on my birthday?!
I know it's just really hard to give up sex and cigs during a blizzard
Idk... he wears anklets.. i dont think i can get past that.
long story short, the bouquet was used as a sacrificial torch
Sorry I missed your birthday party. I caught a dick and rode it to O-Town
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