Is it weird that I have contacts who i've classified as DO NOT ANSWER?
Lol no its called college
The best part of listening to lady gaga while high is that any word your brain puts in is right.
You bit the bartender when he refused to poor rum in your purse and hand you a straw.
I imagine her to be like a 19th century explorer/adventurer with different boys' hearts on her wall like animal heads
Like Teddy Roosevelt
Was just walking through the park by the river. Saw some random in a tree, we climbed up, blazed with him and bought a bag. In the tree. Real shit.
I was wearing my get used bookstore shirt when we fucked. Ironic yet appropriate.
Hey where the fuck is the rest of my beer? Lets start this day off right
This is the fourth day in a row I woke up with cheetos spread around me in a ritual pattern..this weed is unreal
He snorted adderall on my table. I have a feeling he's not trying to buy me flowers
That was the first time I ever heard of a female getting road head while driving... thanks for the memory and making me happy ending..
Hmmm... I thought we agreed as a group we make our last stand in Philly...
I don't wanna go out like that. Covered in melted cheese smelling like a sewer rat...
In other news, Justin Bieber has a big dick and that makes me uncomfortable.
You know your Halloween costume is slutty when you have to shave your pubes to wear it.
The next time you invite me out to a bar full of cougars warn me first. I never felt like a piece of meat before.
How naked do you want me to be?
Randomize
