I love being friends with rich people. I get laid by association.
haha my mom just sent us out to go to all of the hair cutting places to ask for hair because deer ate all our zuchini.. and we have to pee in a bucket all day cause deer hate urine. please tell me we are normal?
i cant lie to you.
i just found out that washing ur bong in the dishwasher works. its been a productive day
im naked on webcam to her boyfriend, but im playing neopets at the same time, so its all evened out
don't tell me I don't love her. i once slept with my girlfriends therapist, just to find out if she was cheating on me.
Just made a photo collage of the girls I've hooked up with this summer. I'm patting myself on my back right now
I woke up to you in just boxers at my door at 7a.m. with you saying how many squrriels you counted on the walk back, then you made me penis shaped pancakes
He gave me a hug and said "He doesn't deserve you, Anna. Your boobs are great, and I'd fuck you anytime. Any. Place." I need a new 'gay' friend.
Just had to hide the fact that I'm not wearing underwear from my 7 year old niece.
Hi this is the guy from the cell phone store. Your Dad just upgraded your phone as a surprise. I didn't tell him about your topless pics on your phone. I transfered them to new phone. Nice rack!
If my penis could make facial expressions, it would constantly have a smile on.
Matt's offering to breast feed it.
She sent me a pic wearing only my batman cape. She stole my cape dude!
Hey, you can never be fully sure you're straight until you jerk off to gay porn
He was watching porn and riding a stationary bike in the living room
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