dude, you're being a jerk.
sorry, didn't mean to pull a Cheney
Reggie can tackle my bush.
do not get into a discussion with my roommate when im sitting there naked ever again.
You convinced us both to take shots of jack Daniels through our eyes.
Tried to eat a sandwich this morning. Couldn't. My jaw is locked up. These marathon blow jobs are killing me
Postcard from jail please. Reserving a spot on my fridge.
I hope your lack of response means you're banging, not talking about her purity ring.
Remember those girls from the bar? The tall and short blondes?
Is this a story I am going to hate you for?
Yeah its great. Whenever we want a new bowl we hand it to Trevor and he clears it in one hit. Definitely one of the benefits to having a swimmer in your circle.
David pulled a magic mike again and started stripping on every street sign we passed.
You passed out with your mouth on the faucet, straddling the keg, with your arms wrapped around it
Riding your boyfriend's dick for an hour then waitressing for 8 hours. Would not recommend.
Well we found Mark's missing underwear. They're pinned up on Mike's trophy wall.
you are singlehandedly the most cursed object the universe ever conceived
I’m gonna stop you right there. The last time you had a “brilliant” idea, I woke up to my kitchen covered in flour and a javelin through my tv.
Randomize
