i just bought a vibrator and the cashier says "have fun with that." i didnt realise what he said so i responded "you too." and then he gave me his number...
just so you know, the uglier twin gives better bjs..don't be deceived
She tags her boyfriend in all of her pictures on her heart...
Just because you were able to pour the entire bottle of wine into 2 glasses does not mean you took it easy last night.
i almost hope i AM knocked up so i can ruin the rest of his life
He added me on Facebook. I'm pretty sure he got my name from the inside of the bra I had lost in the frat house.
In the sauna. Drunk. When I close my eyes I think I'm a dog. Is that wrong?
I cannot tell if the couch is cold or I spilled beer. THAT kind of night.
And before you knew it they were calling me the pussy usher or something like that
There was blow residue on my chem book and my TA was like, did u stain your notebook with CaCO3?
And then he dove into my vagina like scrooge mcduck into a room of gold
As I came the Sportcenter app played that "dah nuh nuh" chime. Top ten life highlight?
I fear our relationship is coming to an end. Last night I felt the need to bloody apologise for waking him up with a blow job.
Sorry I twat blocked you earlier I didn't know Sam was over. But, my house my rules, I don't have to knock before I enter. I did see naked butts and smelt "Sex Stank" in the air, we're going to have to set some ground rules when I get home. Hugs and kisses..Mom
So you're not opposed to us ever having sex again? Because it just seems like such a waste to let a penis like yours go.
Randomize
