so I just used the H1N1 mask my mom gave me for college to hold in a bong hit longer... god I love orientation week
You broke her grandpas urn and ran your hand through his ashes claiming it was pixie dust. I think thats why shes mad at you..
i'm smoking hookah in a kayak. how did this happen.
Of course, I believed he would find me irrestible...sloppy drunk, chugging from a bottle of chardonnay, and completely naked because those kids stole my clothes as I was swimming on their private beach
Protip: If you slur the word 'tipsy', you've progressed beyond tipsy.
My friend just ordered a beer and poured it on the floor in celebration of open bar night
Someone shattered a urinal.
All I remember is mattress sliding down the stairs while giving him a blow-job. Sorry you had to witness the incident.
I was running around taking people's drinks at the bar and just dumping it into my Gatorade bottle screaming roofies.
I found one of your hair extensions on the dance floor. You put it back in your hair
Notice how both of our plans for hooking up with these guys involve getting them drunk?
Oh my God, we're like men but with great boobs.
I just need some dick and some jimmy johns
Santa tracker drinking game, you in or what?
I have 2 bottles of wine, a sharpie, and a panda mask and don't have to wake up early. Can u do the math on this?
there is such a gross feeling of satisfaction when the married guy i used to hook up with likes my facebook status.
Randomize
