who let me buy 6 packs of big league chew? and eat them all? thats not cool
Yeah, we spent most of the evening making fun of the drunk girl until we realized it was you.
You two kept repeating the same thing over and over. It was like looking after retarded pull-string dolls.
THERE ARE SO MANY GREAT DICKS IN THE WORLD. HOW DID I NOT DISCOVER THIS SOONER!?
I don't care. I'll be that guy that eats cake in a car. Alone. With the doors locked.
let's just say if he has a penis and he hypothetically needs to put it somewhere... i would take care of that for him.
I knew when her mom came in spraying me with Febreeze telling me I smelled like shame it was going to be a rough day.
All I remember is folk music and a lot of drugs. I am never going "on an adventure" with you again
I'm going to assume that "the army of generous folk dancers" is no longer a goal you are willing to fulfill
Would you like to partake in getting high as fuck with your best friend and then proceeding to cry over the shit head guys we deal with?
I cried at the bar for 30 minutes because I got my arm stuck in my sweater. I got free drinks for the rest of the night after the bartender helped me.
He wants me to tell you "my boner misses you"
sometimes you just gotta eat tacobell at 2am and cry all your feelings out
When you get this divorce finalized we're going to mid evil times AND pirate dining adventure. We're gonna find you a couple of real men and make them joust/swashbuckle for your affection. My treat.
you asked the cab driver if he wanted to meet your parents, last night.
How high?! We watched paid programming for 45 minutes before we realized it wasn't just a long commercial. So pretty high. The Bionic fish finder looks promising, though.
Lets get a boat first.
Randomize
