What's everyones problem with my costume?!
It looks like a unicorn came on your face.
I just saw a commercial for "tickle me elmo hands" and I am almost 100 percent sure that at the end elmo said "yeaaaaa boooyyyyyy"
Yeah, we spent most of the evening making fun of the drunk girl until we realized it was you.
she laid there and continued moaning loudly for like 10 minutes after we were done, just so that her mom would be jealous
Clearly that person doesn't understand how efficient getting drunk and working out at the same time is.
I am sitting here. Drinking from a bottle of vodka. Eating shredded cheese from a bag and waiting on him to pick me up after he finishes with his girlfriend. This is what dreams are made of.
Omg. The nephews found my stripper pole. The scary part is theyre good at it.
Why were my jeans in the freezer of the mini fridge, and how long have they been in there? On another note, I found my teacher's ID badge.
I smoked that joint really fast and now I'm so high I'm crawling around on all 4 giving my dogs piggie back rides pretending its the macy day parade for dogs and I'm their giant human float.
Definitely broke my toe and messed up my knee walking back. Drink hitch hiking should never happen again.
That's a lot of people she's fucked in one picture.
I'm spending tomorrow doing taxes and making jello shots. Is this adulthood?
I refuse to answer that question on the grounds that it may incriminate me
The CEO is on this whole 'what do you do with your spare time?' kick. Umm... get drunk and have sex in bar parking lots.
I picked up a towel, and butt beads fell out of it.
Oh yeah... Surprise!
Randomize