Now I'll never know if Megan finds a millionaire.
You sent me a text calling me "cunt" while i was in the middle of dumping my bf.
So we're fucking tonight?
he's mad because you were 'slandering his penis'.
you spent the night getting lap dances from a stripper with a c-section scar then ended up at a one room casino by the airport and you say you're too good to blaze and see pirahna 3d? bullshit
I don't talk to her anymore. I lit her birthday presents on fire. Who the fuck puts candles that close to tissue paper?
Second wind. Either that or my heart is about to explode. I'm hoping the first one.
It started with jello shots. It ended with tears.
Just did a slip and slide down a five story staircase in my dorm. Being an engineer is fucking awesome
I'm a complete klutz, especially when I get excited. I pee a lot too. I'm like a puppy except I don't pee in the floor.
are you just sitting in your hotel room drinking popsicle vodka?
.....well anything sounds bad when you say it like THAT
Word my sister pulled through for me and brought vodka shooters for the plane. its about to be a sloppy 4 hours
there are not enough nopes in the world for that situation.
When you leave ur sleepover boy on ur front porch waiting for a cab bc work
I just wish the first erections of my life didn't take place at a dentists office but hey whatever I turned out alright
worse hangover than the time you almost threw up in a plant in front of your daycare kids?
...I don't remember telling you about that but yes
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