Every time we go downtown I ask myself why we live in Des Moines
Sitting at a red light. Windows are down. I'm blasting Gaga's "Disco Stick" and doing an interpretive dance to it because I think I'm hilarious. Look to the left and see two Phi Delts that I know with their windows down. They are horrified. I am probably going to lose their Facebook friendships.
My dad hugged me and said I love u. I'm glad I didn't pull out that night.
I think that i just found proof that harry and ginny had sex
right before he came he said "im ganna fill your stocking" nothing like holiday spirit!!
I just found like 5 packs of sparklers. If someone doesn't get set on fire tonight I am retiring from party hosting.
Okay throwing up in my mouth a little = time to go home
THERE IS A VIDEO OF DMX SINGING RUDOLPH THE RED NOSE REINDEER
I'm officially in the Christmas spirit
In the morning he said my plan to make 2 casseroles today was, "hot in a grandma sort of way," & I didn't think it was weird. THAT'S how hot he was.
Watching Supernatural does more for me sexually than the physical encounters with 90% of the men in my life.
I went to Walmart last night to buy some CDs--which is a sentence I never thought I'd say in 2016.
someday i'll meet a man and who loves me as much as i love getting drunk and starting fires
I guess the weekly d&d orgies are treating you well
Never again will I go to my mom's side of the family's parties. After the bride and groom cut the head off the roasted pig together they boarded their RV and rode off into the sunset.
You said you made a new recipe, but it turned out you just cooked ramen with vodka instead of water.
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