You feel like going out tonight?
Does a 14yr-old girl look good beat up? I'll bring the handle
Dude, this place has 10% alcohol beer on tap. It's like God's semen.
his Mom's staying with him so he asked if I'd go over and fuck in his shed. he said "it's a really nice shed"
I literally stabbed myself so I had a valid reason to get out of having sex with her
Not sure if jager bombs can cure tuberculosis, but its a theory im testing as we speak
I don't like finding out that my fuck buddy is a good person.
Currently trying to figure out if the guy has a cane next to me or brought a weird dildo to the bar
I showed up to a booty-call in my onesie pajamas and rubber boots
Besides. I don't even really like sex because it feels great. I like it because for thirty minutes I own that guys ass.
Btw. U, me, male strippers, beer. Gonna happen. We could totally get TNT from like u know TNT places
And also the fact that I woke up sandwiched between two gay men is probably fueling my day
Grandma cant send me 4 lbs of gummi bears and expect me not to soak them in some sort of alcohol
If you needed to get laid tonight all you had to do was ask
How'd things go with that guy last night?
He threw up in the consol in my car then started crying about his ex girlfriend.
This is your post bachelor party survival text. This a free and complementary service to make sure you are still alive. For alive, say yes. For hurting, say ugh. If lost, say help. If dead, please feel free to not respond. Thank you and we hope you enjoyed the party.
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