: am i supposed to send the mass text 'merry christmas!' to my booty calls too?
she won't take no for an answer... no matter what language i said it in
Tonight is one of those "I'm wearing a shirt as a dress" nights because I need to get laid.
She gave him HEAD floating down the river in a tube as big a a tire. I just don't know how to compete with that sort of level of slut.
Just saw some guy puking out of the dorm window, its for sure monday
Even my psychiatrist thinks I should fuck the married guy.
I need to establish a pattern of dominance early.... I'm like a slutty Cesar Milan
Trying not to look at her chest is like trying to not hear a fire engine racing by.
You took a selfie with my hard dick and sent it to Scott with the caption 'Toldja'. It was hard to forget you're a teenager after that
At this point, I'd date an ax murderer. So long as he doesn't cry all the time, have ED, or leave me with his unspayed cat. My list of requirements is becoming increasingly specific.
I love you but I don't want to see you naked.
The poop emoji wasn't even in my recents. Does that mean I'm growing up?
I haven’t taken my socks off in over 36 hours. I should add that to my bumble profile.
New one isn't as good asmy ex. She won't put her tongue up my butt
Peter this is your "ex"
I stand by what i said
Intelligence report: the hot sister called you gross, the sweet sister says you're dumb, and the smart sister says all the other men she knows would have to die for her to hook up with you.
Randomize
