But regardless, you really stood out last night, you should give me a chance
Sorry but you seem like a potential womanizer
Omg I def was not. I wasn't that drunk. I showed that I stuff my bra but I didn't whip my tit out.
the #6 from wendy's when stoned is definitely better than sex. i dont care what anyone says.
i need a lesbian romance or unplanned pregnancy for some spicein my life.
vicodin is the reason why I believe in magic
The doctor wrote 'condom retrieval' on my discharge paper.
I don't think he understands what an important role his penis plays in my level of self esteem
I've decided to tape numbers to the bottom of my heels corresponding to the number of drinks I can safely consume in them.
I started making my dollar bills into rings for the strippers
just an fyi, false alarm on the whole ghonnorea thing. you're safe.
So my mom and I were talking about what I should get you for christmas. She made it clear I cannot get christmas lingerie.
Honestly, I've had enough of his asshole to last me the new year.
Please tell me you're talking about his personality.
You gave me the best orgasm of my life. I'm buying you a house
Not my fault people bought me shots. waving a shot in my face is like waving a cock in yours
I'm eating Arby's in the bathtub because I'm an adult and I do what I want
Randomize
